I’ve got an important question for you today.
Do you ever feel ready to make changes in your life (your diet, exercise, self-care, etc.) and yet sometimes find yourself behavior in ways that directly conflict with what you say you want?
Maybe you dream of having the energy and confidence that comes from taking better care of your body but when it comes to pulling the trigger, you find yourself frozen in action.
Or maybe you dream of a lifestyle that is more relaxed and flexible and yet you still over-commit and never make time for yourself to slow down.
If you suspect a limiting belief may be holding you back, pay close attention.
It doesn’t matter how much you say you want to lose weight, if you believe somewhere deep inside that weight loss equals some kind of pain (loss of freedom, loss of time with friends and family, heightened expectations, jealousy, deprivation, isolation) you will NOT let yourself do what it takes to succeed.
I’m telling you all of this for a reason.
I don’t want you to have to go through the same painful ups and downs that I did.
Let me paint the picture for you…
When I finally came to terms with the fact that diets didn’t work, I started taking a different approach – I let go of my obsession with weight (no more counting calories or stepping on the scale on a daily basis), started eating real foods and listening to my body’s needs, and for the first time in a long time, I started enjoying what I was eating. I felt energized, inspired and motivated by these changes. Needless to say, I was feeling PFA (pretty freakin’ awesome).
BUT, then I would slip…
It was as if as soon as I felt my pants get looser, my energy soar and my true self step forward, I got scared.
For many, myself included, successfully losing weight brings up a lot of fear about the future.
What will my life be like at a lower weight?
Will people look at me differently after I lose weight? Will they pass judgment? Will they be worried? Jealous?
Can I maintain this weight loss for the long term without sacrificing my health, my relationships, or my social life?
On the surface, weight loss seems pretty straightforward. Stop eating crap food, move your body and make time to take care of yourself, and before long, you’ll start to see success. But what we don’t realize is that there are many emotions that push their way to the forefront whenever we invite change to our lives.
Fear plays a role in all of these questions. Fear about the future, fear about the unknown, fear about your relationships. Fear of failure and even fear of success.
Perhaps you’ve experienced some of these fears too.
Fear of losing your identify.
Fear of feeling vulnerable.
Fear of heightened expectations.
Fear of deprivation or isolation.
Sometimes those fears are part of the reason why you falter or why you eventually stop trying to improve your health. I know because I experienced this several times when I was struggling with my weight.
If you find yourself in this position, like I did, it’s time for a reality check.
The way I see it, there were only two choices: 1) stay paralyzed in my fear and stuck in my weight and life; or 2) recognize my fears and take action to move past them.
I chose the latter.
In working through my fear, I made a promise to myself. That above everything else, I would do my very best to always take care of my body, my mind and my spirit for they are the very things that make me who I am. I promised I would never sacrifice my health for thinness. I promised I would never compromise my relationships to be a smaller size.
The last time I went through this cycle of “lose-weight-binge-gain-repeat,” I still felt nervous. But there was something different about this time. This time, I recognized the fear and even anticipated it. I reminded myself of the promises I made.
Some of my fears did come true. Friends did notice a slimmer body. BUT, they noticed a happier, more confident ME. I realized that even though some of my fears did come true as I dropped the weight, nothing really bad happened. My fears of success were unfounded. And probably – so are yours.
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always reflect their inner beliefs.” – James Allen
In the comments below, I want to know –
Have you ever had a fear of success? How do you overcome it and keep going?
As always, thank you for reading. I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say on this topic as it’s a really important one!
Love,
Stephanie
Stephanie Lisetta Ferisin 